At this point in my life, relaxation seems like an idea located somewhere near Shrek and Fiona in Far Far Away. My four children are involved in football and cheerleading, I am in school full time and volunteered to be the team parent of my oldest son's team (which translates into I do everything except coach), and my husband is in the military (and he's been away for the past week on what I swear is a vacation), I have been running frantically from practice to practice, sending and receiving text messages to and from parents, driving kids to and from school, dealing with my kids missing their dad, making dinners, and all of the other fun stuff that comes with being a stay at home mom. I am exhausted to say the least, yet here I am sitting down writing a blog for a homework assignment that seems to revolve around relaxation. It does not even seem possible to relax.
So I began "Journey On," and within two minutes my two youngest boys were in the house tattling on the their older brother and sister for not playing with them. I told them to play with each other, and that I needed some quiet time to accomplish this assignment. They were compliant, so I began again.
I will admit that I heard them fighting over who was going to play XBOX while I was in the middle of the exercise, but I have become excellent at this selective hearing thing, and I completely tuned them out. The exercise itself probably helped with that as well.
I laid there breathing deeply forcing the blood from my core to circulate throughout my shoulders, arms, and hands. My arms and hands became warm and heavy. Then I begin to think, is my blood really going the way that my mind has told it to go? Do I really have this much control over my blood flow? And I'll be darned, I was barely able to lift my arms. Could I really be this relaxed? For those moments that I spent doing this exercise, I felt completely calm and relaxed. My kids were in the background. My thoughts of things that I must do were no where in sight, and I had very few thoughts outside of relaxation. Amazing!
So, perhaps relaxation is not that far-fetched of an idea for this stay-at-home mother of four. It is basically knowing when and where and how to do it, and then setting some time aside to enjoy the benefits.
Just a side note: today I had an epiphany. I do not have to be available to everyone all of the time. It is okay to have a few moments of quiet time to myself throughout the day, and it is okay to refuse to allow others to interrupt that time. This will not only benefit me, but also my children can learn to respect my time.
Heavily and warmly relaxed (lol),
Amy
Amy,
ReplyDeleteLove your blog! I can almost relate, except I only have two children, and we're just now getting to the ages where they can participate, so I'm not quite as busy as you are just yet. However, I do have a husband in the military (Coast Guard), and I'm sometimes jealous of his deployments (particularly the ones where he is packing up his fishing pole, hiking boots, and hunting rifles)that often seem more like vacations. When I tried the relaxation technique, my kids were perfectly engaged in other activities, yet I believed they sensed I was trying to do something for myself, it wasn't 30 seconds after I hit play that they came running into me. I think that I have mastered active meditation because of this. Meaning, I prefer going for a nice long run to clear my mind and thoughts over trying to lay still and relax. Probably because if I get more than 1 minute of laying still, it's because the kids are in bed, my head has hit the pillow, and I'm snoozing!
Amy,
ReplyDeleteIt must have been an almost disaster for you with all that was happening around you. You have given a very good summary of what anyone in your situation need to do so that they may relax. I was by myself but I could not get to the relaxation part but I will try again and just like you have said, in the world of hectic times and lots of stuff to take care of, some time alone would be beneficial to all people around us.
David
Hello Amy: You are a busy mom, but it sounds like you enjoy every minute of your busyness. I too had to listen to my oldest son play his X-Box game during the relaxation session. I was able to continue through it because like yourself, I am able to block out noises around me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do struggle with a short attention span so I find it hard to stay focused on any one thing for very long. I am also working very hard to incorporate more relaxation into my daily schedule.
My children are almost old enough that I can separate myself for a short while and find time for myself. Like you, I ran around with both my children in sports and band and I was team mom more than once. I also helped out with anything anyone asked me too. I had a hard time saying no until I became so exhausted that I realized I was not allowing time for my body to rest.
It was at that point that I started exercising daily and getting massages once a month and pedicures to help me relax. It worked and I am in a better place physically and mentally.
Cherie
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your blog posting! I too can relate, but for different reasons. I only have two sons (one is now an adult), a husband, my son's live in girlfriend, and usually the neighborhood hoodlums at my house. Also my house is still in shambles due to a recent pipe burst issue and we are waiting for repairs to be completed. Sometimes I just want to hit the rewind button to change the course of my life so things could be different. Stress is at an all time high lately and the stress relief exercise was so great and came at the right time.
Like you, I was amazed that I had the power to move my own blood where I needed it to in order to relax. I was amazed that when I was relaxed that I couldn't move my arms, but with a little mind control I could send the blood back to my core and move again with a sense of renewed energy!
I think we should all incorporate "us" time each and everyday! I plan on making this a top priority. I hope you are able to work it in too!
Great post Amy - and awesome conversation class!
ReplyDeleteProf Betty